Just when you think things can’t get any worse, politicians start employing Michael Bay to write their speeches. I have finally got around to listening to Hilary Benn MP‘s speech in the UK House of Commons from the debate on military action in Syria on 2nd December 2015.
There is a full transcript here:
Anyway, despite the mainstream media’s masturbatory eulogising of Benn, and having listened to every word, I am afraid I do not share the widespread enthusiasm for his vague and populist attempt at statesmanship. Even though it was accompanied by dramatic pounding on the dispatch box and the media. Trained. Separation. Of. Individual. Words.
I am afraid I agree with what Sam Kriss wrote for Vice.com entitled “Hilary Benn’s ‘Extraordinary’ Speech for Bombing Syria Was Disingenuous Bullshit”.
As Kriss points out, he uses a string of clichés and and phrases that could have been lifted straight out of American movies, such as “clear and present danger” (really), “the cruel yoke of Daesh”, “standing together shoulder to shoulder”, “their bloody slaughter” and how we must never “walk by on the other side of the road”. During the cheering at the end, the microphones picked up someone shouting “Outstanding! Brilliant!”.
Hardly. It was reminiscent of President Thomas J. Whitmore’s (Bill Pullman) speech before the final battle in “Independence Day” (1996 Rolad Emmerich).
The only thing missing was the mawkish martial music, rather than the traditional “rhubarb, rhubarb” of our political chattering class.
However, the right-wing press seized the rather tenuous opportunity and desperately tried to use it against Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn MP by suggesting that Benn might be the next leader.
Shadow Chancellor John McDonnell MP was pretty straight talking about it.
Anyway, George Osborne MP, Chancellor of the Exchequor (age 44) seems to think he is still at prep school and, yesterday, tried to outdo Benn with a little street-talk for the Council on Foreign Relations in New York (a “thinktank”) in order to impress the Americans who are the West’s school bully.
“Britain has got its mojo back and we are going to be with you as we reassert Western values, confident that our best days lie ahead.”
What a monumental shit. It will be very interesting to see which “consultancies” George Osborne and David Cameron get once they leave parliament.
So here is a little extra for today as part of the Playbolam™ World-Of-Fear™ Western Values series, the Ministry of Jingoism & Ordnance (MOJO) Thinktank. It’s a bit of a crap joke but I couldn’t resist.