Here’s the game plan. This might sound coherently planned but that is not the way I work at all. I use the full-body immersion technique; I throw myself into whatever it is I think that I’m doing at the time and then thrash about in the murk for however long it takes me to work out what I am doing, allow myself to float up to the surface and skim off whatever scum has accumulated on the surface.
Sounds random but it works for me. Kinda.
I was talking to a friend / fellow artist recently and she described how she makes a plan of how she is going to edit a video. I have never done that, not once, I throw everything on the timeline and watch it (usually whilst listening to random music) until something happens. I’ve never been short of ideas but it never starts with much of a plan.
Anyway, after a rather extended period of utter confusion, I have decided what I am going to do next. I’m going to take Bolam TV to the next level.
I have always been a hoarder although I try to fight it, but a few things have happened recently that have pushed me over more than one threshold. On my 50th birthday, I started getting targeted advertising via Facebook for funeral services. No really, that very day. Once I passed the 55 year threshold I received, with no prior warning, an NHS appointment to have an anal endoscopy as part of their routine bowel cancer screening programme. Less than a week ago, when I was picking up my car from the repair garage, I had one of my first experiences of a smiley young woman talking to me as if I was some sort of imbecile, simply because my beard is grey (the text does not convey the pity in her voice):
“It’s in bay 3, on the left. Do you want me to walk you out there?”
“No, thank you.”
I’m not sure what is coming next but an impending major threshold will be when I’m 60 and I have no doubt it will be accompanied by a new raft of reminders of my diminishing responsibility, accelerating mortality and sutability for nothing more than the scrapheap. It’s a sobering experience to know that some people now view you as unnecessary simply due to your age. I am sure I have done it too, but smehow I never thought it would happen to me.
The only appropriate response is to say fuck that.
Despite my own grumpiness about the progressive failure embodied by the human condition, I have decided to board the party boat, celebrate and vapourise, and this is when I get back to the point.
Despite being a lifelong hoarder, the shared approaching mortality of the vintage Macs that I have been saving for years has precipitated a decision to get rid of them, and having crossed that bridge it seems I have opened a floodgate whilst simultaneously mixing metaphors. Lots more stuff is being dumped. When I say dumped, I mean donated to good causes or else responsibly recycled.
I have decided to partially clear my studio in order to make into a more functional television studio / impromptu discoteque. The Bolam TV broadcasts I made during Open Up Sheffield 2019 were a major success (as an experiment) despite being very clunky. I’m okay with the clunkiness and I like the reveal of being able to see exactly how everything is done, but at the same time I want to execute it as well as I can within the limits of my budget and ability.
Day two is in two parts because the laptop crapped out on me.
Day three is still not available because it was blocked due to a copyright violation. I played a couple of Madonna videos but they were the ones published by the record company so I effectively ripped them off when the broadcast was finished and published as an archive. I been trying to trim the offending material out and re-publish it but keep coming across a strange error that I have been unable to solve. There’s some good stuff on day three so stand by.
I will also be resurrecting a long-stalled project by the name of Flying Monkey TV which has changed shape a number of times but will resurface as a much more automated timelapse capture system in the studio.
After a rather long gestation, I am under way towards a regular Bolam TV broadcast – don’t expect anything immdiately but imagine a surreal version of Blue Peter for adults with elements of The Muppets Show, Max Headroom, Top of the Pops, After Dark and early Eurotrash, and sometimes not safe for work.
You will be witnesses.